In 666 ways I love you
and my heaven is wherever you are

Why am i so drawn to 666.
In its uses I find the most humor and satisfaction.
When HIM writes love songs that mention 666 or anything like that
Why can I identify with those?
Why do I like those songs better then any other love song?

I don't understand myself at times.
Sometimes I wonder why my brain works so differently.



_{. . .And then I remember I did hallucinogenic drugs.}

Is it wrong of me to feel like i'm meant for something more.
I want something beyond what we've built.
and I feel bad about it.

My soul is uneasy tonight.
Its been like this since last night.
I need to get centered.
^{_Desperately.}

I still hate you.

O' my brothers and only friends
I told you i wouldnt update this stupid thing very often. I try to, i really do.
I think about it when i'm driving to work or walking home. But it's no use.
I just havn't got the time to mumble.
It's truly discusting, I know.

So who have I been these last few days?
Well! If you only knew.
I myself, witnessed the super deluxe demonoid pheonomena that was a RoB zOmBiE show
I was beyond words. Absolutely. I'm still not myself. I'm a better more enlightened version.
My tattoo has healed completely. It's beautiful.
Not many people have seen it. I like it to be hidden. Only a select few have had the privelege. HAVE YOU?
I've worked. And worked. And spent many hours working.

My wonderful boyfriend and I celebrated a year and a half of "officialness" yesterday
That was nice.
The night before we went out and spent $60 at our favorite record store on W.A.S.P. Rollins Band and a whole lot of crap.

Graduation.

^{I am afraid of death, but I still embrace it. I think deep down I hope that maybe if I befriend in life, it will be kind to me when at last we meet.}

So yesterday, I was thinking . . . 
About many things.
When a thought struck me.
Could my love of all things Suicide Girls be taken the wrong way?
Since I, myself, am not one; does this mean people think I only like looking at naked ladies?
I admit. I enjoy a beautiful woman just as much as the next.
But what I love about Suicide Girls is the IDEA they present. The idea.
The idea that every woman is beautiful.
I support it. I live it. Fuck. I am a sucide girl, we all are.
Any one who is unique is a suicide girl.
I take that back. Not everyone.
Every girl who is comfortable with who they are inside and out. Completely comfortable.
That is a suicide girl.
A girl who is true to herself. Reguardless.
Thats is a suicide girl.


Choose! They croon
The ancient ones
The time has come again
Choose now! They croon
Beneath the moon
Beside an ancient lake

So friends, I decided at the end of each day (or whenever I get off my dumb ass)I'm going to pen to you, O' cyberspace, what pissed me off during the course of the day or days I have just been part of.

Today 4/20 what pisses me off?
→ 4/20 in general.
Who am I to say that this is a dumb holiday? A joint has not graced these fine lips but once, and that was enough, O' my brothers. I don't like weed, never have never will. If you like it more power to you and I hope it makes your life fuller. But, when your coming into my work stoned out of your mind yelling about it "being 4/20" and "how could I possibly be working" on a day such a this glorious one? Well, my fried friend I am earning myself a living, I am earning myself just enough so I can make it into the next tax bracket by 1,000.01 so that now the government can keep all my taxes and I'll only get back 5 dollars next year and owe the state of California $12.50. Isn't that sense (sp?) enough for you? Of course it is, It's 420 and your stoned out of your mind

→ The Ordinance on the Venice Boardwalk
First let us look at the dictionary definition of capitalisim

Capitalism
An economic system based on a free market, open competition, profit motive and private ownership of the means of production. Capitalism encourages private investment and business, compared to a government-controlled economy. Investors in these private companies (i.e. shareholders) also own the firms and are known as capitalists.

Competitors. Competition.
Now let me explain to you what a street vendor told me. What a man who is homeless and spray paints shirts for a living a measly 10 dollars just so he can sleep in the gutter in front of your house, this is what he told me.
Venice police will now enforce a law that prohibits the making of any sort of clothing by street vendors. Basically, if your selling a printed shirt, your cool, if your making one . . . jail.
So here's what pisses me off.
Because the street artists, that already don't get enough credit for what they do, are making more money then the little slant eyes that own the actual stores along the board walk those mother fuckers have the nerve to take away the only income these people have for a couple of bucks from some french fucking tourists who want a shirt with a muscle guy on it.
Competition? Competition?
I see none. I see the absence and the annihilation of the whole idea of competition.
So what do we call such a setting? Can this be true capitalism. Absolutely not.
The distribution of wealth, equal shares is what a i call it.
President Regan would refer to "distribution of wealth" as Communisim
Gasp!
But can this really be going on in beautiful sunny California!? The very skeleton of communism being practiced nearly and hour away!?
You bet your fucking ass mother fucker. And I'm disgusted.
Absolutely.
That WAS those people's only income, and those people have the balls to pass a law to take that away from them.
Capitalism, my ass.


God, I Hate You